"The first duty of love is to listen." ~ Paul Tillich
What first came to mind as you read the above quote? I'm reminded not only to listen, but to listen to "get" what the other person is feeling and to grasp his perspective.
Were you taught to listen to understand when you were growing up? I mostly learned to listen for the weaknesses in the other person's point of view and be ready to debate.
In fact, debating was an honored tradition in my family, a ritual, a sport. Every Sunday the whole Gorda family gathered for dinner at the home of my grandparents. After eating, we stayed squeezed around the table and made conversation until a topic triggered disagreement.
"You huckleberry," someone would say to another. "How can you think that?"
And it would begin. It got loud. It was funny. It was fun. It was never mean or insulting, unless you think being called a "huckleberry" is insulting.
At any rate, I'm thankful that, over the years, I learned there is a time and place for that kind of listening, such as in a court of law. Most of the time, actually even to succeed in court, we need to understand other ways of seeing, feeling, and thinking.
We would all have healthier, happier relationships if we listened to understand. Consider this quote:
“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” - Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Still learning,
Charlene
THE TENTH GIFT IS WISDOM. May you hear its soft voice. - from The Twelve Gifts of Birth
