"Don't Make Assumptions:
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
How healthy, wise, and pleasurable it can be when relationship hurts are mended. How much better it is when we avoid them in the first place. Let's aim to be clear and clean, open and honest, vulnerable and courageous with one another, and not make assumptions.
I'd like to share a personal story.
For 53 years I didn't know why a high school classmate suddenly stopped speaking to me. I felt confused the first time she turned her head when I said hi; I felt frustrated when she wouldn't tell me why; I felt hurt when the shun continued; and then I felt angry; so I treated her as she had treated me, making matters worse. A silent animosity lasted all through grades 10, 11, and 12th. Other than one time,
I never saw her again after graduation.
Every now and then that girl would enter my mind. I could see us both in our uniforms, looking away whenever we passed in the halls. And I would wonder Why? What happened?
Every now and then I thought of calling her and asking. I finally did: yesterday. It was easy to find her phone number. Our entire class is listed with current information in an alumnae directory, including the deceased.
Making the call was easy too. I had nothing to lose. When she answered I knew there would be something to gain. It turns out she has no memory of what happened. She said she doesn't remember much from high school. She apologized, nevertheless. I did too. She thanked me for calling and that's the end of that.
Even though I'll never know what miscommunication and wrong assumptions happened 53 years ago, I experienced a resolution. I felt something lifted from my chest. It was as if a knotted thread in my heart opened and allowed for a smooth flow of love to pass through it, even though I never realized that thread was blocked or even there.
Let's keep love flowing through us and among us.
For peace, health, and joy,
Charlene
LOVE: It will grow each time you give it away. - from The Twelve Gifts of Birth.
