"When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves." ~ William Arthur Ward

You know how, in the early days of a new friendship or a romantic relationship, we tend to see the best in each other?

Similarly, at the other end, when a long-term relationship ends due to death, survivor grief can include deep sorrow for having lost sight of a loved one's finest qualities.

Instead of looking for faults and areas for improvement, let's seek and see the good in one another, day after day after day.

With love,
Charlene

PS - In case you have time for a true story about learning to look for the best in others, I have one to share. See the blog post* below: 

Way back when our now-adult daughters were in elementary school, I noticed a difference in the way one of my husband’s uncles and one of my uncles treated the children in our families. My uncle, Ray, paid attention to what children said. He really listened. You could tell by the questions he asked. He also genuinely enjoyed playing board games and engaging in contests with them. He watched as they did magic tricks, twirled a baton, and performed other skills they were learning. My husband’s uncle, Spike, did not relate as well to children. In fact, sometimes he was dismissive and gruff toward them. So I judged him in this regard as “not good enough.”

One summer day we had a serious plumbing problem in our home. The basement in our century-old Victorian farmhouse was filling with sewage back-up. As soon as he heard about it, Uncle Spike showed up in hip boots, prepared to help drain and clean the basement. He showed no reluctance or reservation about dealing with the mess and the stench. Again, I compared the uncles. What I saw led me closer to accepting and appreciating people as they are. While my Uncle Ray was great with kids, he could not fix a thing and he would not have been willing to enter that basement and try. The memory of Uncle Spike in his hip boots reminds me that we all have different personalities and skill sets. We all have strengths and weaknesses. 

Both uncles have passed, along with every member of our families from that generation. We now see the best of all of them so clearly. We recall their strengths with admiration. Their weaknesses? Foibles? Follies? We remember them too, with love and laughter. 

Let's embrace the humanity in one another with reverence, love, and compassion. Laughter, too. 

* Previously posted on www.CharleneCostanzo.com

THE FOURTH GIFT IS COMPASSION. May you be gentle with yourself and others. - from The Twelve Gifts of Birth